Introducing -- A Series of Online Writing Ideas

Since my site is called Online Writing Ideas, I will give you, my dear readers, a series that will feature articles on various topics. Writing may be a very messy and tedious process, but it can be fun at the same time. Witness how each writer attacks his/her subject.

Join me as I talk about these concepts which we usually ignore.Remember that ideas abound everywhere.We just have to look around, be inspired, and write about it.

Unclassified: The Jerk Factor

Why are some people jerks? What possesses someone to act like a jerk? Just how messed up in the head does someone have to be to derive some perverse sort of pleasure from being a jerk? I cannot understand the mind-set in such an individual. So why am I addressing this issue?

Yesterday I had to deal with a jerk -- a total jerk. I won't get into specifics, as we all have to contend with these lower life-forms from time to time. Are jerks born of jerks? Perhaps so. Look -- here's a jerk debouching from the mother jerk! Jerks live on the margins of politeness, circling the drain of total *sshole-ism, and are ultimately bound to plummet into its depths.

Venting? You bet I am!!! 

 Photo link

When one is basically a happy person, as I consider myself to be, these jerks really stand out. Maybe that's what elicits their jerk-like behavior -- sensing happiness in others, a happiness that they themselves lack.

Did you ever hear of the Peter Principle? Jerks were certainly factored into the formulation of the Peter Principle. In fact the higher a monkey climbs a pole, the more his ass shows!!!

Don't mind me.

I'm stark raving calm.

 

What Next?

(This is an entry from Absinthe.)

Ok, some titular head of a terrorist organization got whacked -- BFD!!! That's only today's big news. Just two days prior, the wedding of Prince William was the news. Not all that long before that, the Japan disasters. Trapped miners being rescued. Big earth in Haiti. Big earthquake in ... where was that? I don't even remember. It seems that the news media leads us all by the nose from one big earth-shattering event to the next, with hardly any time for a breath in between. What next?!?

Well, I'll tell you what's next for me - nada, nichts, waray, wala, N-O-T-H-I-N-G. I am so sick of being manipulated by this media circus and what they determine is of importance to us. It's time for me to get off of this mad merry-go-round ride spinning every day or two into some new crisis/event/disaster/celebration/discovery/death/etc. Remember the saying "think globally, act locally"? It's time for me to stop thinking globally, because it's too damn distracting. It's starting to blot out all the local. Now don't misunderstand me -- I'm not retreating into my cocoon and saying adios to all things external.

Back in my younger college days, I completely quit reading any newspapers. I also quit watching television for that same time period, which was about two years in duration, and you know what? I had a GREAT time. OK, perhaps my studies suffered slightly, I'll admit to that, but there wasn't much lacking in my life by not being constantly plugged in to the news media. If anything, I felt more attuned to my surroundings.

I look at my life then, and compare it to the here and now and see how much more people are plugged in to the world's technology. Ipods, iphones, geez -- everyone's so caught up in the latest electronic technology that I see constriction instead of new vistas being opened up. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a technophobe, but I'm not a techno-addict either. I just think... well, in a nutshell.... I guess what I'm saying is ...

What next?!?

It was Santa, Not Osama!

(This post originally appeared in Socyberty on May 4, 2011. Socyberty was one of the websites owned by Triond, an online writing site that was active in online publishing around 2007 to 2013. On the same day, I wrote a short introduction about the Socyberty post right here in my blog. That intro provided a back link to that post at Socyberty. I took this down (or reverted to draft) when Triond's multiple sub-sites completely shut down in 2016. Who wants broken links, anyway?  Lately, I have started  retrieving my posts from Triond 's sub-sites through the Internet Archive: Wayback Machine so I can give them a new home.)

-----

This morning I saw a little girl crying, so I asked her what was wrong. She said that she heard someone on TV say: "Oh, Santa is dead." I stood there quite perplexed — why would anyone on TV say Santa is dead? Then the proverbial light bulb above my head lit up. She had heard someone say "Osama is dead", not Oh Santa is dead.

Photo credits: Santa, Osama

I tried to reassure the child that they were talking about someone else, not Santa, but she was not convinced. "He had the hat and beard — it was Santa!!!", she said most emphatically, and I began to wonder. Sure, the colors are different: gray-bearded Santa versus dark-bearded Osama, but maybe this little girl was on to something. Let's look at the facts, shall we?

Where does Santa live? That's easy — the North Pole, but has anyone ever seen or photographed Santa's place? No. Where might Santa be then? Who's to say that he wasn't hiding in a compound in Pakistan? Perhaps that's where he really lives and has his workshop. Who would suspect that? After all, Pakistanis don't even believe in Santa, do they?  What a perfect place to hide. Sure, he had to give himself a different look so people wouldn't recognize him — change hats, dye the beard, cultivate that "I'm a homeless guy" image. Maybe Santa's not even really fat? OK, overweight — let's be kind. Maybe it's all padding that he takes off when he's done with the once-a-year Santa gig.

Think of how devious al-Qaida must’ve been to come up with this plan — tricking US special forces into whacking the Claus, but you know, this kind of makes sense. They swoop in with helicopters, kill who they think is Osama, then get hit with the ugly truth. “Oh my God, we really screwed up! We just killed Santa Claus!” Well, they certainly can’t leave Santa’s body lying around, so off it goes into one of the choppers. Maybe the other chopper wasn’t even really blown up, but hit a flying reindeer and crashed. Where to dump the body so no one will find it? Why, the ocean of course.

If you look closely at the news reports coming out of Pakistan, you can see crying elves (no, I said elves, not Elvis – this article deals with facts, not fiction) in the background, wandering around aimlessly – asking for handouts now that they are unemployed. I think there was even a shot of an empty sleigh.  What does this mean for us? Well, maybe that little girl was right, and maybe she wasn’t. We’ll just have to wait till Christmas time to find out the truth, won’t we?

THOR (2011) -- A Movie Review

If you have ever liked comic books and/or had a thing for superheroes, then Thor is a movie that  is tailor-made for you.

Chris Hemsworth did a wonderful job as Thor, son of Odin. You may remember Chris as Captain Kirk’s doomed father George Kirk in Star Trek (2009). Anthony Hopkins plays Odin, who is not a cannibal in any way like he was when he played the role of Dr. Hannibal Lecter in Silence Of The Lambs (1991). For those of you not in the know, Odin and his son Thor live in Asgard, one of the nine worlds in Norse mythology. I won't include any plot spoilers here.

Image source

The story is archetypal in that it has all the elements of a classic tale: an evil villain, a wrestling match with one’s conscience, issues of maturity, and good guys versus bad guys, just to mention a few. The special effects are most excellent. It also has its share of funny moments to get the audience laughing. The plot is straightforward, with little clues that you may or may not notice that leave the door open for sequels. The movie plot is actually intertwined with the Iron Man movie franchise. If you have seen Iron Man 2, you may remember that at the end there is a quick shot of Thor’s hammer, so I suspect that further intertwining is inevitable.

All in all, this movie is good clean fun — a great movie to bring your kids to see, as well as to enjoy yourself.